New Year

So thankful to have a new year, to say goodbye to last year.... no doubt the most challenging year of my life. 2011 was a year of all consuming change, so hard for someone like me who loves her familiar life so dearly. It was a year that brought separateness for me... Weeks without Mark, playing single mom, trying to survive without my lifeline. Distance from our family and community, the people who carry us through life, who make this journey beautiful for me. Leaving behind a place on this Earth I loved so dearly for a new foreign place, no familiar spots I can go to that bring me refreshment, remembrances of past faithfulness, where my soul feels safe at home. In all of its change, last year also brought us new friends, new opportunity, a fresh perspective on our marriage, an amazing church, and adventures we would have otherwise not experienced. I am a different wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend because of that time.... with the good and the bad, the year has left its mark on me.

Four words I am wanting more of this New Year...

Present. I want to be present, in today, in this hour. I tend to get overwhelmed, to have a checklist, to plan and get caught up in the future. I want to be faithful with today, to sit and really listen to God, instead of giving him a checklist of things he needs to take care of or telling him how I want things to be different...present enough to reflect on what he is doing. I want to be present with people...my husband, my kids who are growing up too fast.

Thankful. In reading my last book, 1000 gifts, I was reminded of the healing that thankfulness gives to our lives. Finding joy in my everyday life, looking for it, even in the monotony, in the lonely ... remembering the beauty surrounding me. Naming my blessings, noticing them and holding onto them.

Stronger. Physically and emotionally... I felt weak last year. I want to strengthen myself this year. I know I am better when I exercise, take time to blow off steam... I sleep better, I have more patience, Im a better wife and mom. Like my body, my mind needs time to focus and sharpen...time in Gods word, identifying lies, remembering truth.

Creativity & Expression. I fought against this one for a while, but I cant let it go. I need to take time to invest in the parts of myself that make me feel alive. To take my responsibility hat off every once in a while and place importance on the things that energize me, help me create, excite me, challenge me. I need to rediscover what those are.

What are your 4 words?