Baby Love.

My friends are some of the most incredible and beautiful women I have ever met. I am so privileged and honored to call them friends. Last Sunday Krysten and Hilary threw me an amazing shower with the rest of my girl friends. I was so excited to have all of my favorite girls in one room that I didnt want it to end, it went by too fast for me to be able to completely soak it in. As I looked around the room and recieved affirmations and gifts from my friends I realized the depth of life experiences that we have already shared together and how instrumental each girl has been to Mark and I. I can not wait for what is to come in those relationships; Im so excited to introduce my little man to all of my friends.
Mark and I have been blessed with a group of friends who push us toward growth, cheer us on, bear with us in times of hurt and need, and enjoy life with us. I can not wait to watch my baby be raised by this community. I need you guys, and I will continue to need your love and support more and more as I take on the responsibilities of motherhood. Thank you for journeying with me.

Doubt...

The following is a reflection (mostly for me) and anyone else who struggles with doubt...Sometimes it completely blows me away how directly God speaks into my life through church. Its almost as if I am the only one in the audience. Our sermon at Mariners this week was about doubt. I don't generally place my fears and worries in the doubt category, but this weekend I caught a new glimpse into my doubts about God.

The danger of having any sort of major loss or hurt in life is that you can quickly become a "realist" about the way things work, especially with God. While in my head I know God is capable to do more than I can ask or imagine, I find myself not wholeheartedly asking God to move to avoid being disappointed if it doesn't happen. Sometimes I do ask and expect God to come through in a time of hurt or challenge, and if he doesn't (especially within my timing or the way I thought he would) I am disillusioned.

In church this week our pastor gave us a definition of a hope that is real, not a false optimism or a "realistic" pessimism. He defined hope by this statement: Living life realizing that I can not expect for everything to come together as I want it to, but knowing that everything will come together how God wants it to. My hope is crushed when I live as if he should always come through the way I want, because he doesn't always. My life and the lives of my family and friends (and people for thousands of years in the bible) have shown that throughout time our God loves us, he is with us, he wants our best, but does not always come through in the way we expect.

So, our pastor gave us this key phrase on: "Then how do we live?" When we are faced with challenges, and fears, and loss.... "I live as if God will come through; not defeated when he doesn't, but honest enough to say I wish he would have." I find so much freedom in that statement. I can claim who God really is and what he is capable of, but I can be honest about the way I feel when I am disappointed by life. I can hope again knowing everything is coming together the way he wants it to.

My Dino Shower

Two weeks ago I had my first baby shower! My mom's sisters spoiled me with a family shower that was dinosaur themed (they love throwing theme parties). My aunts are super creative and very thoughtful; the family is surrounding me with love and excitement for our new addition. The fun part is they already have some super cute little ones themselves that I can't wait to have my little boy grow up with. We started off with a bunch of baby games and had some super gourmet (and yummy) food, polished off with Heather's famous cappaccino's. My family definitely spoiled us with some amazing gifts for me and the baby. Thank you Soapes family, I loved every inch of my shower.

Some of you have been asking for a belly pic, here you go. I basicly look like I have a basketball attached to my body that gets inflated everyday. I cant complain though, I have loved being pregnant!

Jessica's Bachelorette Party

Its party central in our family these days.... This weekend we had a personal shower and bachelorette party for my big sis (she gets married in 2 weeks!). It was so fun to celebrate the end of single life for Jess. We had a little shower followed by a dinner out at Roman Cucina (my favorite restaurant). The boys had the bachelor party the same night. Apparently Kevin (Jess's hub to be) had to literally wear a ball and chain on his ankle. Hilarious.

Nesting?!

Okay the word is a little wierd, but "nesting" is a very real phenomenon that women get in the last months of their pregnancy. I have it BAD!!! All I want to do is fix up ourhouse and get everything looking good and cupboards organized and cleaned out. For the past month my sweet husband and my servant's hearted dad have been spending almost all of their free time painting, sanding, knocking down cupboards, hanging new window shades and clearing things out. We are about half way done with the projects we want to finish before the baby gets here... and running out of time! We are trying our hardest to make our little beach cottage in Corona del Mar big enough for one more little person and cozy enough for me to want to sit in without going crazy while I am recovering.

Wicked.

My husband is amazing. For Christams this year he gave me tickets to Wicked, which I have been wanting to see forever. I absolutely LOVED the show. There is something about the theater that sweeps me up and stirs me inside. The story is very creative and beautiful about the journey and friendship of the witches of OZ. After the show we enjoyed a faulous, romantic dinner at this little place called Firefly. We got to sit right next to the fireplace.

It was the first time since the new year that we have had time to sit for a couple of hours and talk about our year last year and our thoughts about the comming year. I love talking through the highlights of our year with Mark. Highlights for sure were: going to Kauai, Mark's new job and passing all of his exams, and my 30th Birthday. We both aggree that although 2007 held some difficult times for our family and with Mark's job transition, through this year we have both grown in so many new ways and we have definitely seen God's faithful hand leading us forward. We also both aggree that we have absolutely NO IDEA what 2008 will hold for us, especially as baby is comming soon!